Expressions (rewritten)
by LucyValkyrie
Summary: after being raped Shizuo finds Izaya atop a building ready to beat the crap out of him, but when the raven begins to act a little . . . different. they begin living together. YAOI, smut and fluff. the reason for being rewritten is inside. but enjoy the new and hopefully improved version.
1. Chapter 1: faces

**I decided to keep the same summary since it's still the same story, just a little (lot) better, and the chapters should be longer as well with hopefully less mistakes, the reason behind this is because I was looking through the story and I saw so many typos and the chapters seemed really rushed, I thought it needed ot me done.**

 **So anyway, hopefully you guys won't mind that I'm rewriting this story and hopefully it'll be a little different.**

 **Enjoy ~**

This place is so interesting. The thought came as he stood above the city below, glistening with the movement of life.

When was the last time something boring happened? Yesterday? The day before? Last week? Last month? Last year?

He couldn't remember.

But his wicked smile never faded. Getting to his feet, he slipped his hands into the warm pockets of his coat, letting out a cold giggle. This was all so interesting that it sickened him.

These pawns, these lives, these humans. He loved them. He loved them all. He loved them all so much that they could all just die. He loved everything about them: the love, the hate, the conflict, trust, distrust. Everything that made them human he loved. Yet they were distasteful as well, leaving a horrid taste in his mouth that left him wanting more, to see more of this disgusting faces these humans made.

But there was one who was different.

There was one that he wished would drop dead more than any of them.

One that won't do as he expects. One that won't do what he wants. One that he wished would drop off the face of the earth. A monster that he wished would just die already.

After all, what's the point of having a pawn if you can't move it the way you want it to?

As he stood atop a large concrete building that overlooked the city below. The monster stood behind him, filthily panting, showing signs that he ran all the way here. From where, he wasn't sure, the monster had always found him from some distance away, no matter what circumstances there were. He always found him.

Always.

Slowly, he craned his head behind him to stare at the beast; he instantly noticed the street sign in the monster's right hand, bent in many angles from being mangled. An idea formed in his head, what if he played with him instead? Just something to get his mind off things for a while.

A secret grin appeared on his face

"It's been a while hasn't it, Shizu-chan," he faced the monster fully, even closer to the edge.

"Not long enough," the beast growled. His expression just as fierce as he remembered it to be. "Now get the hell out of Ikebukuro!" he practically roared, fist clenching down on the street sign even more.

"Oh, such fierce words you're using," he cooed. He found it amusing to tease him; the expressions he makes were so funny that it sent chills down his spine.

So let the games begin.

"Shall we play a game? Shizu-chan," a devilish grin spread across his face, eyes glinting.

"What?" he seemed confused, it made his smile tug upwards even further with amusement. "Are you crazy, Izaya?"

"Of course not," Izaya said, playfully. "I simply wish to play a game. I have been curious as to what would happen if I suddenly disappeared, right before your eyes."

"Are you kidding me?" He scoffed, "I wouldn't care. In fact, it'd save me a lot of trouble if you disappeared; make my life a hell of a lot more peaceful."

For an instant and only an instant, Izaya's smile faded, not liking that answer, but the smile came back as soon as he dropped it. "Oh? But I wonder what kind of expression you would make if I suddenly disappeared before your eyes, I'm really curious about it you know, would you grovel in disappear for rejoice with glee. Would you be able to seek the happiness you so desperately want or go on living with the guilt of letting me go without doing anything?" he shrugged.

Shizuo remained silent, wondering where this conversation was going. Out of all their conversations, this one had to be the most confusing. What was all this talk about death coming from so suddenly?

Slowly, Izaya backed towards the edge, never turning away from Shizuo, "the game is simple, give me your best expression Shizu-chan, your true expression, not some mask or an act, I want a true expression, a real expression the so called monster of Ikebukuro." He waved a finger in the air, "and if it's good enough, you win." He pulled his other hand from his pocket and held out both arms wide open, "so, shall we begin?"

He began to lean back.

In that second, Shizuo instantly knew what Izaya was doing and his expression changed to one of shock and fear, even a hint of sorrow. For once, his expression had shown something that wasn't of pure rage or anger, it was a pure expression. One that came from the heart, he could tell since it was written in his eyes quite clearly.

And with that, Izaya smiled for real this time, finally satisfied that someone will remember his existence as he disappears from this world . . .

At first, he thought he hit the ground without pain; maybe he just hit the ground too hard to feel anything? Or maybe he landed on his head and died on impact thus he couldn't feel anything. His mind seemed a little fazed as well. He didn't feel dead, or alive for that matter. Was this what being dead was truly like? Just floating around in eternal darkness? As his mind pondered, a strong force gripped his wrist, pulling him upwards.

He thought that maybe it was an angel coming to take him away, up towards that place in the sky. Towards heaven? Towards Valhalla?

But all he felt was the cold rush of the night air and the hard surface of concrete as he rolled to a stop telling him that he was still in this world. He hadn't died, and there was no angel taking him away. His eyes finally opened, registering the blacken sky with a few stars. He laid spread out, wondering what happened.

"Are you insane!" a roaring voice bellowed.

Izaya turned his attention towards the voice; Shizuo stood there, fists clenched into tighter balls, pure rage splayed across his features, but his eyes shown a great concern. Shizuo then straightened up, pointing a finger towards Izaya. "From now on, you're no longer allowed to go towards the edge of a building without my permission, got it!"

He sat up, staring at Shizuo with a dumbfound and completely blank expression.

"Only I'm allowed to kill you! Got it! Not anyone else, not even you!" he snapped, "you hearing me!"

He didn't move. Izaya was still contemplating why Shizuo had stopped him. What reason would he have to stop him from dying? It was his choice right? He could choose his way of death without any other person's say. It was his choice to die by his means. Why save him if he hates him so much in the first place? He didn't get it.

Due to Izaya's silence, Shizuo pulled a cigarette packet form his pocket and placed one to his mouth, lighting the end and breathing in the smoke before exhaling and letting the cigarette hang in his mouth.

"Dammit!" he growled, breaking the cigarette and tossing it to the ground. "I'm outta here." Shizuo began to walk, stepping past Izaya, thoughts of killing him long faded. But a force gripped his pants, halting his movements. Shizuo glared down at the hand that gripped his pants. "What is it now?"

Izaya balled up, head hung low as he curled up.

"Let go," Shizuo said, it didn't hole an ordering nor demanding tone. It was said as if he were talking to a normal person. But Izaya didn't listen to those words. Instead, he tightened his grip. "Let me go! Ya damn flea!"

"Don't go," Izaya whispered finally. He didn't want to be alone at the moment. Not right now. His mind was a mess, even more so with the events that occurred just minutes before.

"I can't hear you when you whisper, idiot," Shizuo grunted, scratching the side of his head. This was too exhausting, and it was getting late.

"Don't go," Izaya said softly, loud enough for Shizuo to hear. "Don't leave me alone."

Pathetic! That's what he thought, that's what Izaya was right now, pathetic. He thought that as he clung to his most hated person, desperately trying to keep him by his side. But pathetic must be what Shizuo is thinking, Izaya told himself. Yes, that was how to describe him now.

Pathetic.

"Ugh fine!" Shizuo grumbled. Suddenly, arms swooped down and encircled around Izaya, pulling him into the air with a surprise gasp. His hand instantly gripped the vest tightly as his surprised eyes looked at the deep black fabric. Izaya felt the strong arms surrounding him as they carried him away; they felt safe and comforting as he relaxed into them. "I'll leave you at Shinra's place. It's too late for this kind of shit."

Izaya suddenly tensed at the comment that suddenly left his mouth. No! He began to tremble. Right now he felt a lot safer with Shizuo. He knew Celty would be there, and he knew nothing bad will come of staying at Shinra's place. But he couldn't handle it. "No," he whispered.

Shizuo looked down to see a fearful expression on man in his arms face. it surprised him how different Izaya was acting. He seemed so vulnerable right now, like a frightened kitten staring at the jaws of a lion that was ready to eat him whole. It seemed a little off putting to Shizuo, because he had never seen this side of Izaya and didn't know how to deal with it.

Then Izaya buried his face into Shizuo's shoulder, gripping his clothing a little tighter. "I don't want that," he said slowly. "Not right now. Please not now."

Did he just say please? What the hell was going on here? Just what the hell happened to make the 'oh so great Izaya Orihara' pled with him to not be alone? Why he was even saying please to his most hated person was beyond even Shizuo's comprehension. And he really didn't want to deal with this kind of thing.

"Fine," Shizuo sighed, "what's with you today?"

Yes, that would be true, what's with me. What's wrong with me? Izaya relaxed again, staring up at Shizuo's face. They had made it to the ground floor already.

Izaya wasn't sure what he was staring at, Shizuo's expression seemed calm and collected, almost surreal against the darkness. Maybe he was just tried, but it was a big change then what he was used to seeing on the monster's face. He had really well defined features, and even nicer eyes and delicious looking lips. And without thinking . . .

"Shizu-chan."

"Hmm?" Shizuo grunted in reply.

Izaya brought his hand up, touching Shizuo's cheek and bringing his face towards his own before planting his lips against his. Shizuo's eyes widen, a stunned expression played on his face as his cheek heated up a little. Izaya smiled as he pulled away, so innocent.

Due to the sudden kiss, Shizuo had stopped mid-stride. Izaya was expecting Shizuo to drop him right then and there, walk out and never look back or beat the shit out of him and then walk out. But Shizuo was frozen stiff; he never lost his bewildered look. But he composed himself by clearing his throat and began to walk outside.

Smiling gently, Izaya rested his head against Shizuo's shoulder, the steps gently rocking him to sleep, happy that Shizuo didn't abandon him at the moment.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The next thing Izaya knew was that Shizuo had plonked him down on a double bed. The mattress was a little hard, but at least the pillow was soft, the blankets felt warm. And Shizuo's scent was surrounding him.

Everything smelt like Shizuo. Izaya shifted to get comfortable, tossing left then right then back again. The smell will not leave him. Although he didn't mind the scent, this made it a little difficult to go to sleep since he wasn't used to it. And the bed was a little hard to get comfortable in.

"Will you sit still?" a voice warned in a deadly tone.

Izaya froze; he turned over to see Shizuo lying next to him. His eyes closed and his expression peaceful. He was so close to Izaya as well, not even a foot away from him; he could feel the warmth coming from Shizuo's body that was just so inviting. Going back to his face, he really did have a nice face; it was really hard to miss when they were always fighting. Neither paid attention to each other's looks. But he seemed so out of place being calm, it was almost nice. Without thinking again or meaning to.

Izaya leaned in and kissed him again.

Shizuo pushed him away instantly and turned over, standing. "Screw this, I'm sleeping out the couch," he scratched the side of his head. "What's with you today?" he muttered, walking out of the room.

Izaya waited, hesitantly grabbing the pillow Shizuo had been sleeping on and hugging it close to his chest, breathing in the warm scent that still remained. He waited, five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes, thirty, all the way to an hour later when he was sure Shizuo was fast asleep. He didn't feel safe to sleep on his own, and right now he needed some reassurance that it would be alright to sleep.

Carefully Izaya tiptoed his way out of the dark bedroom, into the living room where his eyes fell on the sleeping man, a blanket resting on him as he laid on his back, an arm above his head as his expression was even more peaceful then before.

Slowly and quietly, Izaya made his way towards the blonde, reaching down to pull the blanket up as he crawled on top of the man, careful not to wake him, as she shifted to get into a comfortable position laying on Shizuo. He placed the blanket back down on them and rested his head against Shizuo's chest, hearing him breath gently, the sound of his heart beat became that of a lullaby that Izaya couldn't but fall asleep to.

And with that, the sweet darkness encased him.

 **I changed a couple of things and edited everything I could find. Hopefully this one will be a little different but still hold the same feelings as the original. Feel free to leave a review. I felt like rewriting it because there was way too many mistakes and a sudden urge to fix them became very increasing task.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	2. Chapter 2: fear

**Same warnings as the original version and I own nothing of Durarara.**

* * *

 _He felt the touches, cruel and cold. He heard the grunts and pants, furious with ecstasy and lust. He saw the grins, wicked with delight. His body shadowed in the dim light, the devils above him._

 _His heart raced with the need to get away, but his body was pained and too weak to move. But he had to get away. He needed to get away. He clawed and scraped at the men above him, but nothing seemed to work. Suddenly, one of the men gripped his hair roughly, raised his head, and then slammed it back into the hard concrete._

 _And everything went black._

Izaya jolted awake, a cold sweat flushed his body and his breath ragged. His eyes darted everywhere, in search of those devils that haunted his nightmare.

No was in sight.

Falling back onto the couch with a sigh of relief, he stared absentmindedly at the white ceiling above him. He really didn't like that dream filled with horrible memories. It scared him. It terrified him to remember such things. He hugged his arms trying to comfort himself from the growing fear that surrounded his head.

And that was when he realised a distinctive lack of presences in the room.

Izaya looked around, wondering where Shizuo was. But the small complex he was in was completely empty and silent save for a few working appliances humming in the back ground. And Izaya didn't like it.

Had shizuo left him to fend for himself now? He couldn't deal with that at the moment. He knew he couldn't be alone. Not with that nightmare still vivid in his memories.

Deciding to distract himself, Izaya began to walk around, exploring this strange new place that belonged to his enemy. The living room was the largest room in the apartment as he found out, with a plasma TV, a black TV stand, a small cupboard holding a small collection of DVD's, a desk, a coffee table in the middle of the room, a three seater lounge with a recliner next to it.

The living room is connected to the kitchen, it was small but ok to move around in. there was a bench with a chopping board on it, cupboards with dishes and glass cups as well as metal as Izaya explored them, a refrigerator with little food but glass bottles of milk. It made Izaya smile as he eyed the milk but closed the door.

Next was the bedroom, it was the second biggest room down the short hallway to the left. A double bed with a night stand either side with a lamp on each one, dark blue curtains drawn to keep the sunlight at bay, there was a closet with Shizuo's clothes in it as Izaya discovered.

Travelling further, he noticed that connecting to the bedroom was a bathroom with a small sink, shower, bathtub, toilet, it was small but it seemed quite nice the way it was laid out. Coming back out, Izaya found the laundry room, a washer and drier, a white laundry basket, washing powder, not much seemed to reside in here other than a few extra things and other appliances.

Coming back into the living room, Izaya sat down on the three seater, pulling his knees up to his chest to relax a little. He found it strange that Shizuo hadn't kicked him out. He thought for sure that Shizuo would have kicked him out by now. Maybe it's out of pity that he's allowing Izaya to stay?

Izaya felt a sad smile appear; he balled himself up even more, he buried his face in his knees. It wouldn't surprise him if it was out of pity that Shizuo was allowing him to stay. Even temporary staying was better than nothing. At least he felt a little safer with him around.

* * *

Shizuo sighed as he hung his head, it had been a long day of work and getting back home just as the sun was setting was never fun. He was totally exhausted as well, having dealt with twelve annoying clients that wouldn't fork over the money straight away. It was a far too busy day. He lost his temper more times than usual mainly because they had to deal with more people than the other days.

Unlocking his front door, he stepped inside; taking off his shoes and walking inside scratched the side of his head, sighing wearily.

"Welcome home Shizu-chan!" a voice that made him freeze sounded.

He had always lived in a house alone, why was there someone else in his house? But then he remembered to last night as his eyes fell on Izaya, wearing one of Shizuo's white buttoned up shirts with pants, his expression warm as he smiled.

Shizuo's eyes narrowed, he had completely forgotten about him.

"Sorry I had to burrow one of your shirts Shizu-chan, I wanted to wash my clothes and take a bath. You're also out of shampoo." Izaya pointed out.

Shizuo marched into his bedroom then collapsed face first onto the bed, he's already had enough dealing with work, and he didn't need another annoyance. But why hadn't the stupid flea left yet? Just knowing that Izaya was in his house was enough for Shizuo to almost lose it and start throwing anything at him. but today's exhaustion was catching to with him and all he felt like doing right now was sleeping.

Taking a deep breath after being in his room for almost an hour, Shizuo came back out, seeing Izaya was now dressed and sitting on the couch watching the news. Izaya had his fur trim coat sitting next to him, a calm expression on his face as he seemed interested in the TV, but Shizuo noticed a rather large tear in Izaya's shirt, black stained the outside of the tear and a long, slim cut appeared on his side as well as purple bruises on his neck and collar bone that he didn't notice before.

"Hey!" Shizuo walked towards him. "Let's go to Shinra's. That way you can go home after you get those checked out."

Maybe then the Flea can go home and leave him in peace for a while.

Izaya flinched at the thought of leaving and being on his own. Going back to his own place in Shinjuku where _they_ were most likely waiting for him. "No," he balled himself up. "I don't want to."

 _Because if I do, I won't be safe._

"Look, your injured aren't you? Doesn't that hurt," Shizuo gestured towards Izaya's cut, to which was quickly covered up. Izaya shielded his face, burying it onto his arm, not wanting Shizuo to see his fearful expression.

"It's nothing." Izaya said, though it hurt when he touched the cut, he thought for sure that it would have enough by now, guess he was wrong.

"Like hell it is!" Shizuo grunted, he felt his fist clench tightly, wanting the small being sitting on his couch to wake up and say that he wasn't ok because it was really obvious that he wasn't. this was starting to piss him off.

Izaya flinched at Shizuo's tone. He wondered why Shizuo was interested in his injury since he shouldn't care what happened to him. After all the man want him dead, right? But he didn't kick him out, that was most likely out of pity. Izaya felt tears sting his eyes when he thought that, hugging himself tighter. He didn't need pity.

He didn't want to be out there when there are demons lurking.

Having enough, Shizuo picked Izaya up from the couch by the back of his shirt, forcing him to his feet and shoving his coat into his chest hard. "We're going to Shinra's, no arguments." He said firmly.

This time, Izaya didn't protest as he slipped on his coat and followed Shizuo outside towards Shinra's, deciding he'd rather not anger the beast any further then what he already was since he liked staying in a safe place.

* * *

Izaya became painfully aware of alleyways and dark places, always checking and double checking just to make sure, Shizuo found this odd and had asked him, "What's wrong?"

And Izaya replied with, "nothing." it sounded strained the way he said it.

But when a cat jumped out and scared Izaya senseless, Shizuo found it extremely odd that Izaya had clung to Shizuo's arm first instead of grabbing out his knife or something. But they made it to Shinra's without many problems, apart from Izaya sticking a little too close for comfort to Shizuo's side.

"Hello Shizuo!" Shinra beamed. "What brings you here—"

Shizuo shoved Izaya towards Shinra. "He's injured; take care of him will ya?"

"Um . . .?" Shinra eyed Izaya curiously then stepped aside to let them both in. Following Shinra, Izaya walked into the back room where there was a mini hospital room with medical equipment and a bed.

At first, Izaya was hesitant and only went where Shizuo was, which seemed a little strange in Shinra's opinion. And he couldn't get Izaya to go into the room he had set up for situation like this. But once Shizuo was in that mini hospital room, Izaya sat on the bed waiting patiently for Shinra to get ready.

"Where have you been anyway Izaya?" Shinra said as he came closer to Izaya, "you've been missing for three days now; Celty was starting to get worried since you wouldn't answer any of her calls."

Izaya stared at the ground, not wanting to meet his gaze. He didn't answer either.

"Take your shirt off; I need to see this cut." Shinra pulled on elastic gloves.

Now he trembled. He didn't want them to see. But knowing the both of them, Shinra would get annoying and Shizuo's rage would sky rocket if he didn't do as he was told. So he hesitantly pulled his shirt off. It was ok since nothing bad will happen, Shizuo would step in right? It was ok?

Shizuo's eyes widen a little and his face softened as he stood in the doorway, staring at the sight before him. Izaya's body was completely covered in black and blue bruises, some had turned purple and where larger than his hand. The smaller bruises looked like hickeys of some sort. The cut on his side was big, though not exactly deep, it was enough to make Shizuo question what happened to him to make him this way, it almost looked like he was hit by a car, but that was unlikely. Seeing enough, Shizuo left and found Celty in the living room where the two began talking.

"Geez Izaya!" Shinra gasped. "What happened to you?"

He didn't want to say, his body trembled just thinking about. Shinra saw his fearful and sad expression and didn't ask any further questions, in case he triggered something. It looked like a touchy subject so he focused on bandaging Izaya's wounds instead.

It was half an hour later when Shinra decided to come out again to relay the news on Izaya's injures which weren't as severe as they thought but he needed to be looked after.

"Hey Shizuo, can you do me a favour?" Shinra asked, clasping both hands together and smiling. Shizuo instantly didn't like where this was going, he had a gut feeling he wasn't going to favour whatever spewed from this man's mouth. "Could you please look after Izaya until he gets better?"

Celty had felt something snapped inside Shizuo's body, something that sounded like he was going to tear Shinra apart in a second after losing his patience. Before she could try and calm Shizuo down, Shinra spoke first.

"Just listen ok? I'm not allowed to tell you exactly what happened to Izaya since I'm not exactly sure what happened, but Izaya has been missing for three days now, almost four. I can tell you that something mentally and physically bad has happened to him and I think it'll be best if he was with you for the time being since he deems you the most safe to be around. So, please just take care of him?" he asked politely. "It'll only be until his wounds heal."

"And how long will that be?" Shizuo growled, trying to stay as calm as possible so he doesn't lash out.

"Shouldn't be too long, about a month or two?" He shrugged.

[Shizuo, I think you should do it] Celty tugged on his sleeve, showing him her message before he could throw Shinra out the window.

"Are you crazy?" Shizuo seethed, glaring fiercely.

[Just listen, if something did happen to Izaya, wouldn't it be best if you were with him, that way until he heals, he can leave and everything will be alright? Not only that, but Shinra said that it was affecting his mental state, so having you around to protect him from whatever is going on in his mind would be the best thing right?] Celty hastily typed.

Shizuo sighed in defeat at her reasoning. "Alright fine! But only until he heals, then he's on his own." He huffed, sticking a cigarette into his mouth and lighting the end.

"Excellent!" Shinra beamed, "I'll go tell him." Shinra disappeared back inside to tell Izaya the good news.

And so, they began their long journey.

* * *

 **Fixed up the story so it makes a little more sense in this and it's not quite rushed.**

 **Anyway, review if you want.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3: questions

**Sorry for not updating in a while. Life is very busy at the moment.**

 **But enjoy.**

* * *

Day one of living together wasn't so bad, Izaya mostly kept to himself and unusually quiet, asking only when he wanted something which wasn't very offend. It didn't bother Shizuo that much since he returned very late at night and Izaya wasn't in his way when he arrived. He'd sit and watch TV most of the time, but he wouldn't get anywhere within two metres of Shizuo. It was a little different, but at least it was tolerable.

For now.

Day three of living together was pretty much the same, although Izaya was asking more things and Shizuo was becoming slightly annoyed by it. Izaya had been a little more relaxed in his position of being a guest in Shizuo's house and began to move around the rooms more offend then before, getting in the way a little when Shizuo was there, which was starting to piss him off a bit.

Day six was even worse. Izaya had returned to his olds ways, finally loosening up around Shizuo and speaking outright to him whenever he had the chance, even going as far as to tease him at point blank range of Shizuo's fists. Izaya had also been complaining about everything that Shizuo had and did, especially his cooking since he loved to mock it, but ate it regardless.

And that had pissed Shizuo off the most.

Shizuo had lost it more than once, he had almost destroyed his coffee table when Izaya insulted his smoking habit, but Shizuo thought better off it and went out to for a walk. Another time was when Izaya mocked his job, almost throwing the raven out the window, but he walked into the bathroom to take a shower instead. The worst time was when Izaya had both insulted his cooking and his brother at the same time, he had almost thrown his refrigerator at him, but Izaya convinced him not to unless there'd be damages that he couldn't cover, which then left Shizuo to go to bed.

He would have thrown the thing at him if Izaya didn't convince him otherwise.

It didn't help that they had to share a bed as well, but Shizuo was offend woken at night with Izaya clawing at his back in his sleep, sudden kicks slammed into his legs and tossing left and right, not being able to stay still for even a second. It was pushing Shizuo past his breaking point over and over again.

"He's doing that on purpose just to keep me up at night, damn bastard!" he growled, he rolled over ready to push Izaya out of bed.

But all that rage faded when he saw tears stream down Izaya's cheeks followed by soft sobs. Izaya's expression wasn't the twisted mask he was used to seeing on his face, instead what lay before him was a scared and helpless expression; it could almost pass for terrified as well. Many times Izaya had clung to his arms and balled himself up into something so small and fragile against his side.

It was almost like he was trying to find some form of safety from whatever was haunting him.

Just watching him act like this offend made Shizuo wonder what he was dreaming of. It couldn't be good since Izaya was always crying and quivering in fear every second. But he never woke up from his nightmares, not even once.

Shizuo looked upon Izaya now, tears streaming down the raven's face, making him look so very vulnerable it hurt Shizuo just to look at. What could he do to help Izaya sleep better?

Without really thinking, Shizuo pulled Izaya towards him, wrapping his arms around his tiny body and stroking his pitch black hair. He made a mental note to kick himself later. But right now, he couldn't stand seeing this annoying brat of an enemy suffer like this.

It almost hurt him to watch knowing he couldn't do anything to help.

* * *

"Hey!" Kadota had found Shizuo on his break in South Ikebukuro Park.

Shizuo looked up at him from his seat on a park bench, cigarette in hand. "Yo," he gave a wave.

"So I heard Izaya has been staying with you lately." Kadota took a seat next to Shizuo. Shizuo had wondered how he knew that since he didn't tell anyone, but then he remembered he told Shinra, so Shinra must have told Kadota, he groaned thinking about that, wondering if Erika new too? But he knew Kadota and Kadota knew that it would mean trouble if Erika found out.

"He was pretty banged up when walker and that found him." Kadota said.

"You guys found the flea?" Shizuo blinked, turning full attention. He had been wondering why Izaya was at the top of that building. But knowing him, it could mean anything. But that still would explain the bruises and strange behaviour that followed after he found him though.

"Well, not exactly, he refused our help and disappeared as soon as we found him. He seemed," Kadota paused, finding his words. "Different. Like something had shocked him into a different person."

"Well, you'll be happy to know that he's back to his usual self." Shizuo growled. He preferred it when Izaya was quiet and wouldn't get in the way, like on the first few days, that way he barely knew that he shared his small apartment. And he didn't have to deal with his annoying presences all the time.

"Really? That's good at least," Kadota stood up, slipping both his hands into his pockets. "When we found him, he seemed more dead than alive. All I know is that whatever happened to him, it was something bad. Worse then what he'd probably do, or what you'd ever be capable of Shizuo."

Shizuo contemplated this; both statements were bluntly obvious at this point. After all, he had been wondering what had happened to Izaya as well. It seemed like it was something he couldn't just casually say like all the other things he could say. Although he was very secretive about his personal history, hell! Shizuo barely knew his history! No, this was something he couldn't discuss with no one but the ones he deeply trusted, those who wouldn't betray him. But there wasn't anyone like that for Izaya. So it'd make sense for him to keep quiet. And he shouldn't expect Izaya to open up to him and say stuff like that anyway, they were enemies, who in their right mind would want to trust there enemy with their darkest secrets?

"Anyway, I'm heading off, later!" Kadota gave a wave.

"See ya," Shizuo stood, dropping his finished cigarette butt to the ground and squishing it out. He headed out to find Tom since his break had ended.

The whole way, he had begun thinking about different possible situations for someone like Izaya to become traumatised in. being beat almost to death? No, he'd laugh it off then spout some bullshit. Car accident? No, he's too quick for that kind of thing, besides, there's no way he'd be in that kind of situation in the first place. A deal gone wrong? Well, that could happen, but it's the same as the first idea, he'd either run or laugh it off while getting a beat down. Come on! think! What would someone do to Izaya that he wouldn't do himself?

His mind drew a blank.

Izaya's a bastard, so he'd do everything possible to make people's lives hell. And none of the suggestions seemed the least bit plausible. Not a single one seemed to fit the picture or his personality.

"Hey Shizuo!" Tom gave a wave as he waited on the street.

"Hi Tom, ready to go?" Shizuo asked, trying not to focus too much on Izaya right now.

"Yeah," Tom pulled out a slip of paper form his jacket and scanned it over. "Our next one is a business man who bit off more than he could chew in a gambling ring. He owes 500,000 yen."

"Right," he nodded, following Tom to their next destination.

* * *

Having enough of being inside all day with barely anything to do for a week, Izaya decided to step outside and take a walk since the last time he got outside was when Shizuo had taken him to Shinra's and back to get his injures taken care of.

Although he was back to his somewhat normal self. He was still wary of dark alleyways, checking them thrice just to make sure nothing will jump out and give him a heart attack. Or snatch him away.

He made sure not to wonder too far away from Shizuo's apartment, after having locked it up with the spare key Shizuo had given him if Izaya ever needed to go outside. He headed down the stairs and down the pathway.

The streets did hold a lot of people and he zipped through them, blending in as best he could as to not draw attention. But it was really hard to concentrate on doing that when he had this feeling that he was being watched. Each turned Izaya made he would look over his shoulder just to make sure that no one was following him. He avoided walking close to alleyways and dark streets. He always stayed with the crowd, never straying too far from the heavy crowded areas.

And with feeling himself stretched and worn from his long walk, Izaya headed towards Shizuo's house, feeling a little safer with that thought and smiled.

But not everything is as happy as it seems.

Hands gripped him from behind and began dragging him into the dark, cloth around him mouth to keep him silent as he struggled to get back towards the light. But to no avail. Suddenly, one of those hands curled into a fist and smashed into hit gut, he opened his mouth in a silent scream, Izaya lost the will to fight as his body went limp, his lungs empties themselves of air as his vision began to blur from lack of oxygen. And he unwillingly let the hands carrying him further into the darkness.

* * *

Shizuo was heading home around sunset; he had finished work earlier today and was really looking forward to dinner, as in the food rather than his new annoying roommate.

He felt his stomach growl in protest at not being fed and a smile formed on his face as he finally felt calm and happy that day.

Izaya had been more annoying than usual today, complaining about how he never got to go out, especially this morning during breakfast. So Shizuo gave him his spare key right before he left and didn't think any of it. At first, he had thought about what Izaya had done with it, wondering if he had finally gone home or if he was still there. He wished Izaya wasn't there anymore; it was seriously affecting his patience. He was still surprised he managed self-restraint at times like this and that nothing had broken.

Yet.

But Izaya's sudden disappearance and attitude change, just something about it seemed a little . . . disturbing. He didn't like it, this change in Izaya. It made him weak, vulnerable, scared. He was like a frightened kitten. He just seemed so out of place now. Not like how he usually acts like the cunning arrogant, bastard he was. Not scared all the time like now.

And Shizuo didn't like it one bit.

He wanted the flea to go back to the way he was before, back to when he was a mocking, sadistic bastard, and more importantly, not scared. That Izaya was so annoying that he would always begin a chase of kill or be killed. Well, at least he was becoming normal again and acting more like himself.

But a dark sight made Shizuo halt in his trek home. To his surprise, Izaya was stumbling towards him, a large cut on his leg showing through ripped jeans, the side of his shirt was torn and a large bruised cut lay upon his cheek. He seemed to be walking aimlessly as he ambled along the road. Kadota's words suddenly flashed in Shizuo's mind.

" _He seemed more dead than alive."_

Izaya stopped, looking up seeing Shizuo standing there bewildered with a cigarette hanging from his lips. Suddenly, Izaya's eyes watered and he bolted towards Shizuo, tripping and falling straight into the blonde's arms, surprising Shizuo enough to drop his cigarette and upon instinct wrap his arms around the shaking form sobbing against his chest to make sure he didn't hit the ground.

And once again, Shizuo was speechless, his mind working overtime to figure out what was wrong with Izaya this time. He looked down at the whimpering Izaya, who was trembling badly in his arms, gripping his sleeves with so much force that Shizuo thought it would rip the stitching. Izaya hadn't found his legs either as he limply clung to Shizuo.

He eyed Izaya's fear filled expression. Izaya was just starting to become normal again, and then something like this happens. Slowly, Shizuo turned his hold into a hug, gently caressing the raven's hair in an attempt to calm him down and holding him a little closer. He remembered that his mother would do this for him after Shizuo had a nightmare as a kid, it'd always help him calm down a little better. And by the looks of it, it seemed to be working a little.

"Shh, it's ok Izaya; nothing's going to get you." Shizuo whispered soothing Izaya's hair. "Everything's ok, I'm here now. Ok." Izaya's breathing evened out and he felt limp in Shizuo's arms. Shizuo turned him to the side and picked him up bridal style and continued towards his apartment once again.

Many questions ran through his head at the moment, all linking towards Izaya and what exactly happened to him. There were so many things he didn't understand about this and nothing was making sense. It was starting to piss him off. But there was one thing he knew.

Whatever happened to Izaya before, it happened to him once again.

* * *

 **Leave a review of what you think of the new and hopefully improved version.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	4. Chapter 4: bruises

**Sorry for not updating this in a while, but I hope this makes up for it.**

* * *

"It's even worse than before." Shizuo breathed in the smoke from his cigarette. He had watched Shinra dress the fresh bruises on Izaya's body, they had become a darker shade and more were spread across his body, as well as the hickeys. This was definitely worse than before. He didn't think that a person hold have so many bruises that shade of black and blue.

Not wanting to see more, Shizuo left before he grew too sick to handle it. It was hard to watch your enemy like that, covered in sickening large bruises from head to toe, new hickeys had appeared on his body as well, going straight down his torso and disappearing down his pants line towards his—

He really didn't want to think about that.

Celty stood by Shizuo outside on the balcony, since Shinra was busy with Izaya and he didn't want her to see what had happened to Izaya. So she thought it best to see how Shizuo was handling this since he hadn't lashed out at Izaya once and had even brought him here after Izaya had collapsed in his arms.

"Those bruises, there worse than when I brought him here, it's not natural to see him to unlike himself either." He said slowly. "He's even more jumpy then before. Not to mention he won't let go of my sleeve when we came here so I had to take the back alleys to avoid attention, but that only made the walk even longer because he refused to go in there until I picked him up otherwise he did that for every single alley, it'd pissed me off. Geez!" he ruffled his hair in annoyance. "This is becoming a pain in the ass to deal with."

Everything about this was pissing him off; he didn't even know what to think anymore.

Celty nodded listening to his rant; she pulled out her phone and typed a message, showing it to him. [But still, is it alright to just leave him alone like that in your house? Didn't you say that the key was stolen from him?]

"Yeah," he nodded, remembering that Izaya stuttered when he tried to tell Shizuo what happened, so it took half an hour just for him to say 'your spare key has been stolen.' Through the tears and choking for breathe. Now he had to worry about something like whoever took his spare key would break into his house and _beat_ Izaya up again when he wasn't there.

Sighing, Shizuo shook his head, not knowing what to do now. He could have Shinra look after Izaya instead, but Izaya seemed jumpy around Shinra and didn't want Shizuo to leave him alone with the man. He was even more frightened of Celty, as he hid behind Shizuo when she was in the room, always keeping an eye on her just to make sure she won't come near him.

It was definitely worse than before.

"Man this sucks," Shizuo complained.

[All we can do is give our support and hope that he gets better Shizuo] Celty typed.

"That's true," Shizuo said after reading her message. He snuffed his cigarette out and binned it. They both walked back inside and Shinra was the first to approach him.

"Hey Shizuo," Shinra said with a casual smile. "I have a favour to ask you."

"Is it important?" Shizuo grumbled as he sat down. He noticed Izaya wasn't around. Must be still inside the back room, he decided.

"Very actually," Shinra nodded, his expression turning serious. "I'm not exactly sure how Izaya managed to get into this situation. But it seems to be getting worse. So instead of just keeping an eye on him, I'd like for you to become his bodyguard, you know, protect him so he can heal and get better."

Shizuo's brow twitched and a sinking feeling of hatred filled his body. Shinra did have a point though, which settled his anger a little, only a little. If something like this were to happen again, Izaya might not survive the next attack, he concluded. That was clear since it'd looked like Izaya had barely enough strength left in him when Shizuo had found him. Like all will to live had been drained out of him. And those bruises looked internal, far worse than the first ones he got.

[I think that will help Izaya a lot!] Celty typed, trying to get Shizuo to do it. [Besides, think of what might happen if Izaya was left alone at your place and whoever did this knew. I don't think Izaya will feel safe knowing that.]

Shizuo sighed, running a hand through his hair. She did have a point. Again.

Izaya seemed to be walking on thin ice right now, and Shizuo knew that it was only a matter of time when that ice would crack and Izaya would fall and lose it.

"Alright fine!" he grumbled, getting to his feet and heading towards the back room where Izaya was being kept. Shizuo opened the door, "hey! Let's go!"

His eyes fell onto a sleeping Izaya, tucked into the bed and shivering, clutching the blankets and pillows a little too tightly for comfort. Another nightmare, Shizuo guessed as he sat on the bed, looking down at Izaya who took sharp intakes of breath and trembled.

Then tears pricked Izaya's eyes like usual.

Shizuo had wiped them away before they fell, his hand seemed to calm Izaya down a little as his breath relaxed and his grip soften on the pillow and blanket. Shizuo noted that Izaya seemed to recognise his touch. "Come on, let's go home." He whispered to Izaya even though he was in a deep sleep.

After pulling Izaya onto his back, Izaya instantly wrapped his arms around Shizuo's neck, not to choke but to hold on tightly.

"Bye Shizuo, take care of Izaya for us!" Shinra called, waving goodbye as Celty did.

[Let me know if you need something, I'll be happy to help] Celty showed Shizuo on his way out.

"Thanks," Shizuo nodded, walking outside in the night, it was almost mid-night and the air was chilly tonight. With a sigh, he continued towards home.

* * *

Shizuo had stayed awake as Izaya laid next to him, watching the raven closely. Izaya seemed to be a lot more rested when in Shizuo's arms then what he thought he would and made a mental note of that. It at least made the raven stop his tossing and turning as he slept, and more importantly his tears.

But at some point Shizuo had fallen asleep because the only thing he knew was waking up to see Izaya's head resting on his chest as he laid on his back. Shizuo blinked as he realised he had an arm wrapped around Izaya's waist and an arm above his own head. He had wondered why his alarm didn't wake him up like usual.

"Oh yeah, it's the weekend." He whispered to himself, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He began to sit up when Izaya's hand shot out and gripped his arm, murmuring in his sleep again. Since Shizuo slept without a shirt on, Izaya gripped the skin tightly, which didn't seem to bother Shizuo much.

Shizuo looked down at the still sleeping form and sighed, remembering what Shinra had told him last night, but looking over at his clock he realised that it was still early, only 8:15.

Deciding on not wanting to get out of bed, Shizuo laid down again, wrapping an arm around Izaya and placing a hand behind his head, he stared at the ceiling as Izaya snuggled closer. As he found out, Izaya loved to snuggle which made it a little harder to sleep with Izaya clinging to his arm or back every second of the night. But now, since he had gotten used to it, it wasn't so bad.

Before he fell asleep, Shizuo went over everything that happened after he found Izaya atop that building. Something just didn't sit right with him about it. it wasn't like Izaya was acting different, he does stand atop building on occasion as Shizuo had seen. But there was something so different about it; it also looked like he was contemplating falling over the edge or something?

But pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he fell asleep.

* * *

Waking up with his face buried in the pillow and no sleeping Izaya next to him. Shizuo groggily sat up, wondering what happened to the other, scratching the side of his hair with a yawn.

"S-S-Shizu-chan," a quiet voice sounded, making Shizuo jump as two hands lightly shook his arm. He noticed to his surprise that Izaya was crouching down next to his side of the bed. Shizuo wondered how long he had been there for.

"Um, yeah?" he looked strangely at him wondering what he was going to say.

"I'm hungry, c-could you please make breakfast?" Izaya asked shyly in that shaky voice.

Well, at least he was clearer speaking now. "Sure," Shizuo stood up and headed towards the kitchen, feeling Izaya follow him close behind. As Shizuo placed a large frying pan on the stove, he turned it on and began to cook the cold bacon he pulled from the fridge. As he pulled out the eggs and fried them up, Izaya followed him still, never leaving his side and sticking to him like a lost puppy.

Last night when they got home, Izaya had barely said a word; he stayed silent only giving a slight nod or a small shake of his head to simple questions Shizuo asked. Now Shizuo was beginning to get worried about it. This _thing_ that was affecting Izaya was starting to get to him.

And he didn't like it.

He set a plate down in front of Izaya as well as himself; they ate in silence so Shizuo had time to plan out his day. He had to go shopping since he was running out of food and he needed to do a bit of laundry as well since he was running out of clean clothes, and the kitchen needed a bit of a tidy up and he needed more cigarettes.

After breakfast Shizuo left to go shopping, bringing Izaya along with him. Since alleys and dark places were scaring Izaya, Shizuo avoided them and decided to take the main streets instead. The whole way Izaya clung to his sleeve like a small child, keeping his gaze to the ground and trusting Shizuo to lead him.

When choosing food, he had chosen what he wanted and asked Izaya if he'd like anything, Izaya shook his head in reply. Shizuo didn't mind the fact that Izaya was quiet, but it just meant that they were back to square one again after the first time. It was really pissing Shizuo off.

After returning home, Izaya had helped put away the groceries and began following Shizuo everywhere he went, not wanting to let him out of his sight for a second. Shizuo had to admit, it was cute the way Izaya followed him everywhere like a lost puppy but he had long gotten used to Izaya presences and didn't mind the fact that he was following him everywhere in the first place since he wasn't under his feet and he wasn't saying anything annoying. If it had been before this whole thing, he was sure that he'd be pissed at this display. But now Shizuo couldn't find the strength to get angry, in fact he found it cute with the shy expression Izaya had when Shizuo would look at him.

The following day, the locks on the door had been replaced, much quicker than expected since Shizuo had asked the landlady yesterday about changing the locks when someone stole his key.

Shizuo received a new key and a spare, giving the spare to Izaya so he could go and do as he pleased, though the raven never left the house without Shizuo by his side.

For some reason, Izaya just felt a lot safer with the beast by his side. Probably because Shizuo had the strength to protect him if something were to go wrong. But Izaya didn't know why he felt safer with Shizuo, especially in his arms when he could be so easily crushed by that strength. But Shizuo had always held him gently, as if he was holding something delicate and didn't want to break it.

Izaya stared up at the blonde as they lay in bed that night. Shizuo's arms circled around him limply as he slept. Izaya hadn't fallen asleep just yet, he wanted to watch the other sleep first since he had this feeling Shizuo was always watch him sleep. He heard Shizuo's silent deep breathes, felt his steady heartbeat against his hands, watched those parted lips that looked so inviting. He couldn't take it any longer.

Izaya leaned over and placed his lips to Shizuo's in a long kiss before nuzzling against his chest, falling straight to sleep with a slight smile.

He'd probably be in trouble tomorrow, but he needed that right now, just some form of comfort that will help him sleep just that easier.

* * *

 **Again, sorry for not updating in a while, but it's here so it's ok.**

 **Anyway, review if you want.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5: work

"Ah, Shizuo?" Tom looked behind his partner, staring at the smaller man clutching to Shizuo's sleeve.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied in a flat tone.

"Why is—" Tom noticed Izaya hide behind Shizuo even more. "Never mind," he waved off. "Anyway, we've got a full day starting with a drug addict over in the south that apparently doesn't have any money."

"Alright," Shizuo nodded and began to follow Tom as Izaya still clung to his arm. He didn't mind it really, it was a good way for him to keep track of Izaya when they were out and about, so long as he knew Izaya was clinging to his arm or shirt, he could react quickly in case something happened to Izaya and he could take action instantly.

But it also slightly worried Shizuo as well since Izaya had stopped speaking outwardly since they got back from Shinra's. When he did use words, it was polite and only a sentence long at best. But ever since there last visit to Shinra's, Izaya had been keeping close and following Shizuo pretty much everywhere, even when he goes to the toilet. Shizuo has offend found him waiting outside by the door in a little ball, but as soon as Izaya notices he latches onto his arm once again. It was getting annoying how clingy he is, but it can't be helped.

. . . . . . . . .

 _Earlier that day._

 _Shizuo had just finished his breakfast and watched as Izaya was barely halfway through his. It also annoyed Shizuo about how much Izaya ate and it was slightly worrying that he never finished his plate._

" _Hey listen," Shizuo started._

 _Izaya looked up at him._

" _I have to go to work today so you can either stay here or come with me—" before he could explain further, Izaya had reach over and gripped Shizuo's white T-shirt sleeve with scared eyes. It did surprise him a little at Izaya's sudden act of speed. Shizuo hadn't seen him move that fast in a long time, or at least in the time Izaya has been staying with him._

" _So um," Shizuo scratched the back of his head, not really knowing what to do as Izaya bowed his head. "I guess leaving you here is out of the question, so you'll be coming with me then."_

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Shizuo sighed; he had already explained that he was living with someone to Tom beforehand just to make sure that Tom knew Shizuo's new situation so when Shizuo called him up saying that he had to bring this friend along with him, he won't overeat when he saw the guy. But he forgot that barely anyone knew that Izaya was his new roommate and he kind of accidently left that part out.

Tom had teased Shizuo that he had finally found a girlfriend but he congratulated him on it afterwards. But now that Shizuo had explained that it wasn't actually a girlfriend that he had, to which Shizuo was dejected about during his explanation, it was in fact Izaya that was staying with him when they met up for work this morning did surprise his boss. Tom didn't ask questions about it, judging by Izaya's drastic change in attitude it was a touchy subject and instead continued to work.

It seemed alright at first, Izaya stayed out of the way and let the professionals handle the job. Though Izaya was a little curious about how Shizuo did handle his job so he stood back and watched with child-like eyes as Shizuo handled the clients.

The first guy forked over the cash as soon as Shizuo ripped the front door off, which had been bolted shut to protect the client from the raging monster of Ikebukuro. It didn't work of course so he handed over the money instantly.

The next one was a little more trouble as he had pulled a knife out and began waving it at tom, to which Shizuo responded with almost tossing the man out the window. But they eventually got the money out of him and left.

The third one was the most difficult since he ignored the claims of debt and pretended not to notice the newcomers as the entered his home without permission. Then Tom hit a nerve about the money and the guy pulled out a butcher's knife, charging towards Izaya since he stayed near the door and seemed the weakest. But that was an even bigger mistake as Shizuo stepped out in front of him and broke the guys arm.

It was now Shizuo's job to protect both Tom and Izaya. Though Tom was alright most of the time, Shizuo only needed to protect Tom when some guy went on the attack and charged at Tom. Izaya was a little more complicated since he seemed like a weak link, but Shizuo didn't mind it since Izaya seemed to go unnoticed most of the time, it was scary how he could fade into the background and act like he wasn't there, and sometimes Shizuo forgot he was even there.

Since Izaya mostly clung to Shizuo's arm when moving between clients, it was easy to make sure he didn't run off. But he also had to keep an open eye as for anyone in dark alleyways or shady spots with less people. During the jobs they had to do, Izaya would stand back such as against a wall or by the door. Shizuo made sure to always keep an eye on Izaya to make sure he was still there or not freaking out.

The lunch break had come and Shizuo paid for both his and Izaya's lunch. It surprised Tom a little when Shizuo was showing acts of kindness towards his enemy. Then almost fell out of his seat in shock when Shizuo had cleaned Izaya's mouth with a napkin when Izaya had finished eating.

Tom was sure the world was coming to an end.

"So, what's with you and Izaya being buddy-buddy." Tom suddenly asked, the curiosity had finally got to him after lunch, on their way towards there next debt collection.

"Hmm," Shizuo craned his head to glance over his should at Izaya, who was staring at the ground with a hand on the back of Shizuo's shirt, looking nervous.

Shizuo turned towards Tom once again. "Well, I can't really go into much detail about it." he admitted, scratching the back of his head. "Not even I know what happened to him. But he seems to have suffered from something and now he's like this. He suddenly grew attached to me and I'm on doctor's orders to protect him to make sure nothing bad happens to him."

When Tom looked over his shoulder at Izaya, who hid behind Shizuo even more, he gave a sigh. "Alright, guess that would explain why he's following you around. I won't ask into it anymore. We've got a job to do and we don't need to worry about this right now."

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Shizuo rubbed the back of his head as he stepped inside his house, yawning as Izaya followed. They had finished a little later than expected.

"I'll start on dinner so you go have a bath ok?" Shizuo said to Izaya, who nodded and headed towards the bathroom.

As Shizuo began pulling out ingredients for dinner, he heard the bathwater running. At least Izaya seemed a little more mobile than before about walking around the house by himself. But he was glad that Izaya had listened to him and stayed out of the way when things got rough.

Shizuo had told Izaya that before they left the house this morning that he was to stay away from any sort of conflict Shizuo had gotten into, just to make sure that if something happened he was able to get out of the way quick enough without injury. If Izaya was clinging to him during the short bursts of rage Shizuo had, he was sure Izaya would be even more damaged.

An image flashed in Shizuo's mind about Izaya's bruises. They seemed so painful that it made him wonder how Izaya could still move even with all those injuries. It must have been hard to keep up with them during their travels all over Ikebukuro. But how could he know? All the injuries he'd sustained over the years healed of in a matter of days.

He really didn't like those bruises.

Whoever had made those bruises, they got guts, especially making more of those back blotches when Izaya was with Shizuo. He didn't realise he was gripping the kitchen knife handle too hard until a soft pale hand laid on his. He looked down at the hand to see Izaya standing there, in new clothes and wet hair; he was gently caressing the blondes hand until he relaxed.

"Ah, sorry," Shizuo went back to his cooking while Izaya stood back but not too far away and watched.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Over the week Izaya had been going to work with Shizuo. And each day was taking its toll on Izaya's body. Shizuo would offend have to carry Izaya home after he had fallen asleep standing up.

On the last day of the week, Shizuo had actually ended up carrying Izaya from lunch break till they got home since he had fallen asleep. But Shizuo knew better then to think he was exhausted from all the walking. It was because of those bruises that he had. They seemed to be affecting his stamina and when Shizuo would look over his shoulder to check on Izaya every now and then, he would always see a pained expression on Izaya's face and panting breathes.

And it hurt him just to watch.

By week two, most of Izaya's light bruises had healed up, the bigger and darker ones had turned a lighter shade but they still hurt as Izaya described. He had gotten a little better, he would talk a little more but said nothing rude or offensive which surprised Tom a lot since he had only ever known Izaya to insult Shizuo every chance he got.

But Tom was actually beginning to like this new Izaya, as was Shizuo. Izaya still stayed out of the raging conflicts Shizuo was in during work but clung to Shizuo whenever they were out walking around. Although he had gotten used to Tom's presence and he knew he wasn't dangerous, Izaya still kept his distance from him, still not comfortable to be left alone with someone other than Shizuo.

By the end of week two, Izaya seemed mostly fine. He was starting to talk to Tom a little as Shizuo had noted which made him slightly happy, Izaya's nightmares seemed to have stopped, much to his relief. Izaya's bruises were healing nicely as Shinra had put it when they went for a check-up.

Overall, things were getting better.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Hey Shizu-chan," Izaya suddenly spoke; they had gotten take out from Russia sushi because Shizuo didn't feel like cooking. Izaya sat down at the small table with Shizuo adjacent to him.

"Yeah?" Even though he hated that nick name, Shizuo knew that it was no longer for the purpose of insulting. In fact, the name gave him relief since he knew that Izaya was on the right track to recovery.

"Will tomorrow be a long work day?" Izaya popped a piece of ootoro into his mouth.

"Probably. It depends on how many people we have to deal with." Shizuo replied.

"Ok. I was just wondering why we always get home later some days and earlier other days." he nibbled the ends of his chopsticks.

"Do you not like being outside for too long?" Shizuo looked up at him, he had noticed when they had to deal with clients, Izaya had moved away from the door and began to stay closer to Tom or a place where is hidden from the doors view.

Izaya bowed his head, not wanting Shizuo to see his expression.

"It's ok. I understand. You can stay here if you really want to." Shizuo said, although he regretted saying it when a scared expression surfaced on Izaya's face again, it was vivid in his eyes.

"No!" Izaya blurted. He covered his mouth instantly after and quietened down. Shizuo remained patient as he waited for Izaya to explain. "Well, it's not that I mind it really, I just don't want to be out _there_ for so long."

Shizuo noticed Izaya's trembling and placed a hand on his shoulder. Izaya had always seemed to relax at his touch which was good since he was pretty bad at comforting words.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna leave you in the dust so you can go and get hurt again. I'm on strict orders to protect you no matter what right? I won't let you get hurt ok?" the hand left as Shizuo stacked the empty boxes of sushi and headed towards the kitchen to bin them.

With Shizuo's back to him, Izaya flushed at the comment, cheeks a deep pink.

That night, Izaya had stayed awake again, gazing at the other man sleeping soundly next to him. Watching him take in silent deep breathes and seeing his chest rise and fall.

A sweet smile played across his face, one that wasn't mocking or evil. It was one that he used for Shizuo and Shizuo only.

As Izaya snuggled closer to Shizuo, he felt warm and the pain from his bruises were nothing now that they had time to heal, which made this moment all the more enjoyable.

He felt happy.

 **Yay, another chapter, leave a review and if you want to compare this newer version to the older one, feel free.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6: panic

**Sorry about the wait but here it is~**

* * *

[How's Izaya?] Celty asked.

She found Shizuo in a park during his break. He looked a little lonely so she thought she have a chat. It started out normally with greetings but she was curious as to how Izaya was getting along, she hoped he wasn't too much trouble for Shizuo.

"He's getting better, he's not acting like a frightened cat anymore which is reassuring," Shizuo blew out a cloud of smoke, stubbed his cigarette on the bottom of his heel before tossing it in the bin.

Week four and some of Izaya's personality has returned. Some, just noticeable with certain things like a smug smirk would occasionally appear or he would prance around when he thought Shizuo wasn't looking. Though he isn't as annoying as before, which Shizuo doesn't think Izaya is annoying anymore. It surprised him a little considering that they were tossing insults at each other just a month ago.

[That's good,] Celty typed. [I was worried that he wasn't getting better with all that's been going on. But I'm glad he's doing well.]

"Yeah," he agreed. Although Shizuo was happy that Izaya was getting better. His bruises have all healed and there's not even a trace left on him. When they went back to Shinra's, he told them that Izaya was fit for work and could go back to his home since he didn't need care anymore.

Shizuo was expecting the raven to agree and go back to his old ways as soon as possible. But what Shizuo thought and what Izaya did were two completely different matters. While Shizuo didn't care at all if Izaya went back home or to his old ways, it just meant that things could finally get back to normal so he didn't have to worry about anything. Izaya on the other hand felt conflicted about it, like he seemed a little scared of what might happen if he went back home alone, at least that's what his expression had shown and what Shizuo's instincts told him.

So Shizuo allowed Izaya to continue living with him. After all, he still wanted to know just what made him change drastically and how he got all those bruises in the first place. Izaya still stayed quiet about it, and Shizuo didn't want to push him too much for the truth just in case they might step over the line and Izaya closes himself up again, setting them back to square one.

Right now, Izaya was hanging around Tom so that he was able to keep an eye on him while Shizuo had some time to himself. The raven hadn't left his side even for a second as Tom noted since the first time he saw them together. It was strange to see him acting like a lost puppy clingy to the only person that took notice of him. But, at least he didn't wonder off like he expected.

Though Izaya had gotten used to Celty's company whereas before he wouldn't even look nor come near her within 6 ft, which was a good thing since she comes over every other day to check on them. It was kind of a relief for both Shizuo and Celty since it meant that Izaya was getting better.

[Does he go out?] Celty asked.

"Sometimes, but he only goes within range of my apartment but he doesn't stay out long, only for a few minutes at a time and when I'm in his range. When he does go out, he only goes where I go." Shizuo scratched the back of his head. It wasn't annoying the way Izaya would always follow him around everywhere, it was kind of endearing in a way that made his life just that little bit more peaceful since he stayed quiet so he wasn't going to complain any time soon. What was bothering him was the fact that when Izaya would follow him, he always held a cute expression with blushing cheeks and wide child-like eyes that Shizuo found adorable, almost like a puppy or kitten, something cute and adorable which didn't suit the man at all.

And it crept him out a little.

[Can he hold a normal conversation now?] Celty wanted to know because she wanted to tell Shinra, he was a little worried about Izaya's mental state rather than his physical state, so she thought she'd do a little digging into the matter to reassure him that Izaya was doing better.

"Yeah, mostly. When it's just us at home he can hold a conversation pretty well and not spout useless shit like he did before. But when we're in public, it's a little different. You're lucky to get a full sentence out of him since he barely talks to people other than me." Shizuo sighed. "But at least he's talking a little more."

[But he seems a lot more comfortable when you're around] Celty noted this from all their interactions. When Shizuo was around Izaya would talk, though it was only a few words, he said those words calmly and he didn't fidget. But when Shizuo wasn't standing near him, Izaya became extremely nervous, always staring at the ground, stuttering with words and fidgeting like he had an itch he couldn't scratch. There was a huge difference between Izaya alone and Izaya with Shizuo.

"Yeah, maybe," Shizuo stood up. "Anyway, I'll head off to go find Izaya, he's probably wondering where I am at this point."

Celty stood up, typing on her phone before showing it to him, [does he not like being left alone for a long time without you there?]

"Yeah, he starts to freak out and has a panic attack or something," he rubbed the back of his neck. He remembered Tom telling him something along those lines that Izaya had freaked out a couple days ago when Shizuo didn't get to him quick enough. It took a long time for Izaya to calm and Shizuo had to take him home after that episode.

"Anyway, I'll try to keep you updated should anything come up, see ya." He waved and walked off while Celty turned and headed towards her bike resting by the curb.

* * *

Izaya was beginning to fidget as he sat leaning against a wall with his legs bunched up, as if to protect himself from some unknown danger. His eyes would dart around a couple of times, scanning and assessing the surroundings before dropping to the ground once again, he repeated this process every few seconds. Tom noticed that Izaya's gaze would always flick towards the direction Shizuo had disappeared in when someone would walk from that way, but let his gaze drift back down towards the ground again shortly after. It was almost like he wanted the blonde to appear again so he could stop worrying so much.

But Izaya wasn't in the right mind now. It's been too long since Shizuo had disappeared. Far too long.

Izaya wondered who might have seen him. Thinking that he would be stopped again and taken away like last time. And he knew Tom wouldn't be able to protect him let alone himself should the situation arise.

And that was terrifying him.

He didn't know why, but he felt eyes on him everywhere, like he was being exposed to something he didn't like. He tried to stay calm, tell himself that Shizuo would be here soon and everything was going to be ok.

He knew Tom was there to keep an eye on him and he was fine with that, at least he had someone he knew with him. True he didn't know Tom all that well but he was still someone he knew and could trust a little since Shizuo trusted him, he felt a little better about that fact.

But the nagging feeling just wouldn't leave him.

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and an involuntary shiver ran down his spine. His heart beat was rattling against his ribcage and sweat beads began to form on his forehead. Heat encased itself around his body but his skin felt like ice.

 _It's ok_ , he told himself. _It's ok. Shizuo will be here soon. It's ok. It's going to be ok._

But his instincts told him otherwise. A little voice in the back of his mind had told him that he was everything but ok. But he still had to tell himself he was alright and that nothing would happen to him. Otherwise he won't last much longer without with this fear.

"Hey Shizuo!" Tom announced, giving a wave and smile.

"Yo," Shizuo replied, walking towards them. He looked down to see that Izaya had bunched himself up again; he'd always do that when Shizuo had taken too long to come back. "Izaya—"

Izaya had launched himself at Shizuo, landing in his arms and burying his face in his chest. He never wanted to let go, not when he still felt eyes watching him. Watching his every movement, every breath, not allowing him to rest.

"You know, you're right Shizuo," Tom stared down at Izaya. "He _has_ grown attached to you."

"Hmm," Shizuo grunted in agreement as he tried to pry Izaya's arms off him. But every time he pulled a hand free, the other would wrap itself around his waist more. "Come on Izaya, now is not the time for this."

Shizuo placed his hands on Izaya's shoulders and his eyes widen, they were trembling badly, but now that he had a good look, Izaya's entire body was shaking. He sighed, guess he was gone longer then he thought.

"Why don't you take him home Shizuo?" Tom suggested. "We're finished for the day anyway."

"You sure?" Shizuo asked.

"Yeah, besides, I don't think he'll be in any shape to do anything at the moment." He gestured towards Izaya, who was holding Shizuo even more tightly.

Shizuo gave a nod, knowing Tom was right. He looked down at the quaking raven whose hands had turned white from grasping his shirt so tightly. "Ok, come on Izaya, it's time to go home." He placed his hands on top of Izaya's so he got the message.

Over the past week, Shizuo had dropped the nickname of flea and instead began to call him by his name. Though Izaya still called him 'Shizu-chan,' Shizuo didn't really mind it that much, though he would prefer to be called by his actual name, it was ok for now since it meant that Izaya was still Izaya.

Izaya had let go of Shizuo's shirt and was about to grip his sleeve but Shizuo was quicker. Instead scooped him up with one hand and carried him in a one-armed bridal style. Though Izaya was surprised by this action and it made his heart flutter like crazy as his head rested against Shizuo's shoulder, it made his shaking stop and he felt a lot safer as he relaxed into the hold.

Shizuo knew that once Izaya was in his arms, he'd calm down a lot faster, as noted when Izaya was having nightmares and Shizuo hugged him, and each time Izaya had calmed down quicker and had better dreams, he would even snuggle into Shizuo's chest when that happened.

They both walked home with strangers on the street giving them funny stares, some were questioned looks, most were wondering if the world would be ending, some ignored them but sneaked peeks through side glances. It didn't surprise them one bit since Shizuo kept it under wraps about his new roommate while Izaya was silent and you'd be lucky enough to even see the raven look up to meet the stares.

* * *

Dinner wasn't fancy, just instant ramen since Shizuo was running out of ingredients to cook with. For some strange reason, Izaya liked Shizuo's cooking better than the instant ramen, he'd almost favour it more when his former self would have taken the ramen any day over Shizuo's cooking, then spout something like the food would be poisoned and even though the ramen was unhealthy, it was probably better.

They ate in silence until a phone rang, but it wasn't Shizuo's phone that sounded.

Izaya pulled out his phone from his jacket and wondered who'd be calling him. But then he remembered his position as an info broker and that answered his question since he rarely got calls for other things other than information.

He was reluctant to answer the call as he pulled it out from his pocket. He thought it might be those men who—

His body ran cold from the thought of it.

Slowly, Izaya looked towards Shizuo who was staring at the beeping phone, silently asking permission if he could take the call.

"You can answer it." Shizuo said, going back to eating.

Izaya placed his ramen on the table and walked into the bedroom, answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Izaya?" it was Shiki's voice one the other end. "It's about time you picked up. I've been trying to reach you for the past two weeks. Where are you?"

Izaya froze. He didn't want to say where he was right now. It would endanger Shizuo and he didn't want that right now. "um." He paused, thinking of some excuse but found none, so he replaced the answer with a question of his own. "Why?"

"I need you to do a job. It's important since we've lost men because of it." Shiki sounded really annoyed when he said that. But Izaya didn't want to think about it too much.

He stayed silent.

Not hearing anything on the other side, Shiki continued. "An unknown group attacked our syndicate two week ago; they killed a lot of our guys then left for no reason. I want you to find out who they are. I'll pay you more than usual since this is an important job." He expected something witty like usual, but he instead received something else entirely.

"Um S-Shiki . . ." Izaya felt nauseous, not liking where this was going. He couldn't take on jobs at this time and with this state of mind. It seemed like hours of silence as he had pondered this and how to explain it to him. Finally, he settled with something. "I can't do that. I'm sorry, but I'm not taking on jobs. Not for a while at least."

Shiki was silent.

He was way too quiet for comfort and it made Izaya little nervous at what he was going to say or how he was going to react. "Alright, tell me when you're ready to take on the job. I'll have our men do a little research into the matter."

"Ok." Izaya felt relieved. He thought that Shiki wouldn't be happy to hear it. Though he did sound a little angry with his answer. It seemed ok for now at least.

"Alright then, goodbye."

"Yes, goodbye."

Izaya was about to hang up when Shiki stopped him. "Oh and one more thing," Izaya placed the phone back to his ear again. "I hear that there are a lot of people going missing these days. I've noticed that these people seem to be connected to you."

Izaya's eyes widen.

"I just want to warn you to watch you're back ok?" Izaya heard the concern in Shiki's voice.

"Ok." His voice was shaky and he didn't like that. But he was more worried about who is after him. He already knew who. He was more worried that he knew that _they_ weren't after him now, going after the people closest to him as a means of dragging him out unwillingly.

He feared _they_ might know about Shizuo.

After the phone call ended, Izaya came back out, paler then usual and sat down even more silent then what Shizuo was comfortable with.

"You ok?" he asked, a little cautious.

Izaya nodded bleakly.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Shizuo had already finished his. He noticed Izaya wasn't picking up his chop sticks to continue eating.

"Not hungry anymore," Izaya whispered. Shizuo barely heard it.

"No, you need to eat. You're pretty much a beansprout," Shizuo growled.

Izaya sank deeper into his jacket. Shizuo instantly regretted the tone he used; he forgot he had to be careful at what he said and how he said it with Izaya in case anything set him off.

"Sorry," Shizuo bowed his head. An awkward silence past through them, leaving Shizuo to scratch the back of his head wondering what to say while Izaya balled himself up again. Sighing, Shizuo looked at him, "hey."

Izaya flinched and raised his head slightly to tell Shizuo he was listening.

"You can tell me you know," Shizuo looked away from Izaya, not really knowing what he could say that will cheer him up. "I mean, it's hard keeping all your emotions bottled up right? So, you can tell me anything, whether your angry, sad, happy, annoyed. I'll listen to what you have to say, ok? Trust me, keeping things bottled up like that isn't a good thing. So you can lean on me for those kinds of things."

Shizuo had noticed Izaya staring at him with wide eyes, almost as if he was surprised that Shizuo had mentioned all that.

"Um," Shizuo scratched the back of his head staring upwards; he felt his cheeks heat up as he raked his brain for something else to say. "It's just, I want you to go back to the way you were, being that annoying flea that always got on my nerves. Seeing you like this, hurts me to you know." He looked down at his ramen with sadden eyes.

Izaya smiled and picked up his ramen, which was going cold. "Thank you, Shizuo."

Shizuo perked up at hearing his actual name slip from Izaya's lips and unconsciously smiled. "So, um yeah. Whatever you say doesn't leave this room. Ok?"

"Ok." Izaya nodded, and happily ate the rest of his dinner, although he couldn't fit all of it in. he still tried since Shizuo kept saying 'one more bite.'

But that night, they both fell asleep peacefully.

* * *

 **I'm becoming lazy with my chapters, I'm sorry!**


	7. Chapter 7: truth

**Another chapter enjoy ~**

* * *

"Give back what you fucking borrowed!" Shizuo snapped, gripping the collar of a sleaze that just so happened to 'forget' that today was the day he was supposed to pay back all his loans. Shizuo was practically lifting him off the ground glaring at the man intensely.

"L-Listen, I don't have the money, alright! Just let me go and I'll get it to you within a week ok! Please!" he said trembling, holding his hands up and wanting to get out of this little predicament.

Tom sighed and Izaya stood beside him watching as Shizuo was about ready to throw the man out the window. It wasn't anything new to him now, Izaya had pretty much gotten used to Shizuo's outbursts of rage during work and had long since dismissed calling him a monster because of it. now he just stood back and watched, he mostly kept quiet which was now a normal thing for them.

"Shizuo, take it easy alright?" Tom tried to reason with him, placing a hand on Shizuo's shoulder that was quickly shrugged off.

"Not until this bastard gives back every last dollar he borrowed!" he growled fiercely, eyes flaring fire.

"Shizu-chan," Izaya tugged at Shizuo's sleeve with wide child-like eyes. In the past week, Izaya has learnt that Shizuo just can't seem to resist his innocent expression with wide eyes and a cute face. Especially in times like this, which seemed to help Tom out a lot because Shizuo would usually destroy everything and sometimes even throw the person they were trying to collect debt from resulting in more damages then necessary.

"Y-yeah?" Shizuo looked at him, a slight blush spread across his cheeks as he stared down at Izaya.

"Calm down ok? Tom is going to get the money so you don't have to worry about it, ok?" Izaya began to tug at Shizuo's arm to drag him away from the man while Tom handled the rest. They both made their way down the stairs of the one bedroom apartment.

In the time that Izaya had spent with Shizuo on his jobs, he knew that when Shizuo's anger was piqued, it was best to drag him away from the scene and get some fresh air since it seemed to calm him down better.

"feeling calm now?" Izaya smiled, standing next to him.

"Yeah," taking out his packet, he pulled a cigarette out and lit it. Even though he'd never admit it out loud to anyone other than himself in thought, Shizuo did like this Izaya a lot better than the previous one. But some of his cheeky attitude was starting to return such as his teasing. Though Izaya made sure never to step over the line and made sure that what he said wasn't able to piss Shizuo off completely. It was better than nothing, Shizuo had thought. At least he wasn't depressed like before and he was becoming his normal self.

"You get way too cranky at times like this Shizu-chan!" Izaya pouted.

"Sorry," Shizuo bowed his head as Tom came down the stairs with a small bag full of cash. "You get it?" he called.

"Most of it, yeah," Tom nodded. "How about we call it lunch and take a break, you've been working pretty hard."

"Sounds good," Shizuo ashed his cigarette and followed Tom with Izaya walking next to him, no longer clinging to his arm to which he had missed for some strange reason.

* * *

[Week five and already Izaya is returning back to the way he was?] Celty asked, Shizuo decided to visit since Shinra had called in for a hot pot, and apparently Izaya loves those as he found out one night during dinner.

"Yeah, but doesn't over step the line which is nice. He's not as annoying as before either." Shizuo said, standing outside on the balcony with Celty. Izaya was busy helping Shinra with the cooking.

[Don't you ever wonder?] Shizuo looked at the message confused while Celty paused; she then typed a new message to explain what she meant. [Don't you ever wonder who made Izaya like this?]

Shizuo's gaze turned towards the city in front of him, he watched the dancing lights as night had fallen. He had been wondering who had turned Izaya from a manipulative bastard into something resembling a caring innocent child. He exhaled, "I don't know. But if I find them, there dead!" He slammed his fist into his open palm, growling.

Celty jumped at the sudden action but didn't turn away. [Well, I've been doing a little digging and I've not come up with anything.]

"I see," he grimaced at the comment. "He's not said a word about it either. And I don't want push him until he's ready to tell me. Otherwise who knows what might happen to him."

[That's true. I'm a little scared to ask him because I know he doesn't trust me completely. So I was wondering if you might ask him, since he trusts you a lot more than us.] Celty said.

"He might say a couple of things about it, but even so it won't be enough to explain it fully. He might trust me more than anyone else, but I know that he doesn't want to mention anything about because of the memories that might come from talking about it. after all, that might set us back to square one again and I'm not going through everything just to start over because of a silly conversation."

[You have a point. Now I see why you want him to be the one to say it instead of us getting him to say it.] Celty said.

The sliding glass doors opened suddenly, alerting the two. "Shizu-chan~! Celty~! It's ready!" Izaya beamed.

"Alright, we're coming." Shizuo walked inside followed by Celty who closed the door behind them.

Shinra had already put the large pot on the small table in the living room. Celty made herself comfortable next to him while Shizuo and Izaya sat opposite them. Shizuo noticed how giddy Izaya was about eating hot pot with just the four of them. It surprised him at how much Izaya loved this sort of dish since it was usually meant to be eaten with friends, guess he likes it because it's with people? He made a mental note about it then focused on what was in front of him.

About half way through the meal, Shinra decided to make conversation.

"So, how is living together?" he wondered.

"It's fine. Nothing new has happened since the last time you ask." Shizuo answered, placing a sliver of meat into his mouth.

"But it has been fun," Izaya smiled.

"Really?" Shinra wondered. He was curious at how the two former enemies have been getting along since before they couldn't even be in the same town without them killing each other, and now they sat side by side eating and not even a hint of tension was in the room.

"Yep!" Izaya nodded. "Shizu-chan is fun to be around when he's not working."

Shizuo blinked at the statement and gave Izaya a confused look. Since when was he fun to be around? The only thing fun that they've done together was watch a movie together that Izaya had really wanted to watch since he hadn't seen it. And even then they were just sitting on the couch in silence as they watched.

"So, nothing bad has happened between you two? No fighting? No arguing?" Shinra pried, trying to get some answers as to what their lives were like now.

"We do argue from time to time." Izaya's gaze fell to his bowl half full of food. Seeing the sadden look on Izaya's face, to which Shizuo knew he was remembering something bad, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Izaya's mouth since he had juices at the corners from eating since that seemed to distract him from this thoughts.

"Your mouth is dirty." Shizuo explained before resting the cloth in Izaya's lap.

Izaya smiled. "Thanks Shizu-chan." He started eating again.

Shinra blinked at the sudden action. Celty sat just as stunned. Shizuo had noticed this and turned his head to avoid eye contact rather than explain his actions and went back to eating.

"I guess things are going better than I expected, right Celty?" Shinra turned sai to her in a whisper.

She nodded.

* * *

The following day.

Shizuo had the day off and he decided that the laundry needed doing and the apartment needed a good clean. Izaya was helping as well, since he was also living there and he didn't want Shizuo to do everything by himself while he sat there doing nothing.

Izaya was folding the clean clothes and sorting them into different piles while Shizuo was giving the floor a vacuum. "Hey Shizu-chan!" Izaya suddenly spoke up.

"Yeah?" Shizuo replied, turning off the vacuum to listen.

"You said that I can trust you with anything right? And whatever I say doesn't leave this room right?" Shizuo noticed that Izaya stopped folding the laundry. He sensed that Izaya was going to say something heavy and it seemed very important.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" he sat down on the couch, staring at Izaya. Maybe he was going to tell him what happened to him? Maybe he trusted him enough to know that Shizuo won't tell anyone.

"I know you've been wondering about what happened to me, and how I got this way," he paused.

Hearing the silence drag on for a minute Shizuo turned away. "You don't have to tell me I you don't want to. I don't want you to remember anything unpleasant." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's ok. Besides, I've been thinking about it for a while so it's ok. I know you've been wondering about it," he gave a half-hearted smile followed but a sad laugh. "I know exactly what you've been thinking. Who made me like this? It's obvious you'd want to know since I've become so different then when we were both fighting."

Shizuo remained silent. He didn't want to push Izaya anymore then what he was pushing himself, Shizuo could tell that Izaya had come to terms with this and he knew that Izaya was definitely out of his comfort zone to be talking about this matter. But silence was all he could offer, it was better than words because he knew he could say the wrong thing and make Izaya shut up about the matter altogether.

"Before my disappearance a while back, I had to do a job which was to gather information about this underground group that had just started and were causing trouble. So I decided to spy on them for a few days just to see what kind of work they did. They mostly specialised in drug trafficking and human auctions and that sort of stuff. I remembered thinking it was bland and that it was no cause for alarm. But I was wrong.

"As it turns out, the drug trafficking and human auctions were just a cover up for what they were doing to their captives, or at least it was one of the lesser crimes that they were committing. After I observed them in their human auctions, I noticed that most of the humans they were selling were girls and that most of them had been ruffed up with heavy bruises and hickey's all over there body."

Shizuo's eyes widen. It was just like when he had first seen Izaya after his disappearance. But he didn't point it out nor say anything for him to continue. He forced himself to stay quiet by bitting his tongue but that didn't quite the turmoil of questions that plagued his mind.

"Anyway, after observing what I needed, I reported back to the one that gave me the job. I had explained everything to him, and he asked me to meet him at a warehouse in the west of Ikebukuro where I'd get my pay. I waited for an hour and was about to call it quits then black mail the guy later for not paying me. but the same guy I was being paid by had attack me along with these other guys to which I recognised were a part of the gang that I was asked to spy on. As it turned out, the guy was part of the gang and it was all a set up to kidnap me. Pretty smart plan huh? I had no clue why they had asked me to do it until the very last second."

He paused.

Shizuo said nothing.

"They kept me in a small room with no way of escape and barely any food and water. And well," Shizuo noticed Izaya's trembling. He could tell he was struggling with the memory even though he couldn't see his face. It was beginning to hurt Shizuo the way Izaya hurt mentally like that. Before he even realised it, he was already reaching out to pat the raven on the head. "And that's where they—"

A knock at the door sounded, cutting Izaya off and leaving Shizuo's hand to hover over his head.

* * *

 **Wow, a very late update, sorry about that. But here it is at least.**

 **Until next chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8: knock knock

**Sorry about the wait.**

The knocking persisted.

Shizuo wondered who would be knocking at his door during the afternoon, since he rarely got visitors; it was strange that people wanted to visit him. He thought that maybe it was Celty had come to check on them or something since that wasn't out of the ordinary or anything since she was sometimes a go-to for Shinra to check up on Izaya and make sure he's recovering fine.

Without questioning further, he turned to Izaya silently asking permission if it was ok for him to answer the door. He gave a nod. Shizuo stood and walked towards the door while Izaya had curled up behind the couch, making sure he was hidden.

Shizuo pulled the door opened.

"Good evening sir, may I interest you in some of our products?" A man stood before him, smiling brightly with black square framed glassed and matted dark brown hair, obviously combed and he was dressed quite nicely in his black suit and tie. In his hand he held a black brief case to which gave the impression that he wanted to sell something. But there was something about that smile that Shizuo just didn't like. He really did hate salesmen, they were annoying, especially on his days off when all he wanted was to relax. And the smiles they always gave seemed forced, like they hated talking to him, so why do it in the first place?

"No thanks." Shizuo said quickly and was about to shut the door when the man's foot stopped him.

"Oh but you see sir," the man leaned to the side, his brown eyes looking past Shizuo and into the room, but quickly returning. "I was wondering if you would think about taking out your life insurance with our company. It's very reliable and it won't cost that much per week to have, and signing up is a breeze not to mention completely free."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes; already deciding he didn't like this man who gave a breathy laugh, it sounded almost forced just like his smile. And he was starting to become a pest. And why the hell would he need life insurance at his age?

"So, how about signing up?" The man pulled a pen from the breast pocket of his suit, holding it out to Shizuo and showing off his brief case as if to say that the documents were inside.

"Sorry, but I'm not interested." Shizuo didn't make a move to take the pen nor hear what else he had to say. "Anyway, I'm kind of busy right now. So could you please leave?"

"I see," he seemed dejected, but he still smiled. "Well, goodbye then sir." He bowed, "have a nice day."

Shizuo closed the door when he left. Turning back around, he noticed Izaya was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't that unusual for him to disappear when someone was knocking, apart from Celty, but that was about it. Shizuo sighed, maybe he was still not comfortable with strangers? Maybe that was why he vanished? No, that wouldn't be correct, he had no problem dealing with the clients during work and they were complete strangers.

So why become shy this time?

Maybe it's because they were inside their house where it seemed more vulnerable than outside? Wait _their_ house? What the hell is he thinking Izaya was only staying at Shizuo's house, it was still his house! What the hell was he thinking?

"Is he gone?" a shaky voice said, making Shizuo jump from his thoughts to reality. He looked over to the couch to see Izaya's head poking up from the armrest.

"Ah, yeah," Shizuo composed himself as saw Izaya slump back down, hidden from view again. "Something wrong?" he sat down on the couch.

Izaya paused, Shizuo noticing that he had balled himself up tighter, bringing his knees to his chest. "That guy. He sounded . . . so familiar to me," he fell silent again.

"How so?" Shizuo asked, already knowing he wasn't going to like what he heard.

"Well, I may remember some of my clients, but only the ones that stand out. But this guy, he sounded familiar to me. I think I remember his voice over a phone call or something. But I know that voice from somewhere unpleasant. And I don't like the feeling I get from him just now." he paused, feeling tears well up in his eyes, his trembling worse than before. "And I sure that if I saw his face. I—" he covered his mouth to not let sobs escape him. "Sorry, I can't—" his voice was muffled, then he buried his face in his knees.

Shizuo waited a bit, not wanting to do anything to sudden in case he might make things worse. But he reached over and placed his hand on top of Izaya's, trying his best to comfort him without hurting him mentally.

Izaya had gasped at the sudden contact, a little shaken. But he reached up and rested both of his hands on top of Shizuo's warmer one, gripping it tightly as he began to cry silent sobs and let his tears stain his cheeks until they were wet and red.

After a minute, Shizuo pulled his hand back and gripped the back of Izaya's shirt, pulling him off the ground and into his lap we're he held him close. Izaya's swollen eyes widen, no matter what this man did, it always surprised him to no end.

"It's ok," Shizuo whispered soothing Izaya's hair as his grip held him closer. "It's ok. Nothing bad is going to happen, I promise."

Without realising or even meaning to, Izaya buried his face in Shizuo's chest and wrapped his arms around his torso, gripping his shirt tightly and sobbing even harder, letting little hiccups slip out from time to time.

Something wasn't right with this picture, Shizuo decided. He knew one thing about this, and that was that he didn't like seeing this man cry like an abused child. His body ran cold at the thought of what had traumatised him. He made a mental note to remember that guy's face so the next time he saw him; he'd make sure to get answers after he beat the crap out of him.

. . .. . . . . . . . . . .

Shizuo had gone to Shinra's for a little while, since they wanted updates about Izaya's condition. But it had gotten worse. But instead of going back to square one like Shizuo had thought; Izaya's condition stayed relatively the same. Except now he looked completely dead inside, and Shizuo could tell that just by looking in his eyes.

[So you're saying that this guy or whoever he is came over to talk about insurance and after that Izaya started acting this way?] Celty asked when Shizuo had finished explaining Izaya's sullen state who hadn't looked up from his feet since he entered the apartment.

"Yeah," Shizuo nodded. He felt Izaya's grip tighten on his arm and his body trembled when he noticed Shinra staring quizzically at Izaya. "Hey!" Shizuo snapped, gaining Shinra's attention. "Quit staring at him, he doesn't like it."

"Oh sorry," Shinra scratched the back of his head with an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to."

"Anyway, I remember this guy had brown hair and glasses, kinder like you Shinra," Shizuo sent him a flat expression.

[So, is that why Izaya is a little shaken to be around Shinra?] Celty asked, trying to turn the attention away from the doctor and towards the main problem at hand.

"Yeah, I think that might be what's making him a little more jumpy than usual." Shizuo stated.

"But no fighting right? No new bruises or anything like that?" Shinra asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"No, but if that were the case then I wouldn't let him through the door and he'd be in the hospital already if I found out that he did that to Izaya." Shizuo growled at the obvious question.

"Ah, right." Shinra laughed nervously. "So, anyway, what do you plan on doing with him now? Is it still ok for you to take him to work?"

Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck; he hadn't planned that far ahead. Though it was a good thing he had the day off tomorrow as well. It would have gotten a little out of hand if he were to take Izaya to work with him after today, especially with him looking like this.

"I'll think of something," he stood up, giving a nod to the pair and heading towards the door, Izaya following closely behind as they left.

As soon as the cooling air had hit them both, it made Izaya shiver at the sudden temperature drop since it had been warm inside. "Come on, let's go home." Shizuo lead the way with Izaya right behind him.

The whole way, Shizuo had been wondering what he should do to improve Izaya's mood again. He had no clue. At least not at the current time. And it wasn't like Izaya could bounce back easily; these things did take time. That much he knew already with how Izaya had been coming along with his slow recovery.

Izaya felt a shiver run down his spine and a sinking feeling overcame him.

 _Eyes_.

He felt eyes on him again. Feeling his body over without even touching him. Watching from the night shadows. Those eerie shadows that he didn't trust. Had he been found? Were they watching him now? What would he do if they found him here? What would they do to Shizuo because of it?

He didn't want to think about it.

But those eyes raked over his body again and again. He could feel it as hairs stood on end, a cold sweat appeared on the back of his neck and he was looking over his shoulder at every new noise, no matter how normal the sound. He didn't want to panic. He didn't want to make a scene in this empty place. Not with Shizuo walking in front of him, slowly pulling forward, and away from him.

Shizuo didn't have time to think when he felt arms hook around his neck and legs wrap around his waist. The impact had him on loose footing as he stumbled, wondering who it was that attached themselves to his back suddenly.

When he finally recovered and found his balance again, Shizuo had noticed a dark head of hair resting on his shoulder, trembling ever so slightly. When Shizuo placed a hand on Izaya's arms, he felt Izaya jolt at the touch and he sighed, slipping his hands in his pockets and carried Izaya home.

Whatever he needed to do to make Izaya normal again, he needed to think of it soon and fast.

Because he really didn't know how much more he could take of this.

 **Until next chapter.**


End file.
